Stuff nobody cares about

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Halloween Parties Demotivational Poster

Halloween Parties Demotivational Poster

Halloween demotivational poster

because Halloween parties are full of treats

Demotivational poster / demotivator description: Scene from a Halloween party. There are two hot girls wearing a sexy Halloween outfits. One is dressed up for a sexy maiden and another is wearing leopard costume. They are on the Halloween party. Will you be partying hard tonight? Or you will spent Halloween on cemetery?

You can always celebrate Halloween in the traditional way and make a terrifying Halloween costume and go to treat or trick quest. Whichever you will choose - Happy Halloween! :)



Demotivator related joke:


The door bell, rings, and a man answers it. Here stands this plain but well dressed kid, saying "Trick or Treat!"

The man asks the kids what he's dressed up like for Halloween. The kid says, "I'm an IRS agent."

Then he takes 28% of the man's candy, leaves, and doesn't say Thank You.


Friday, October 29, 2010

Happy Halloween Demotivational Poster

Happy Halloween Demotivational Poster

happy Halloween demotivational posters

maybe we should skip this house

Demotivational poster / demotivator description: Snowman, but not an typical one. It's a blood-hungry squirrel which has torn off head of a standard snowman. There is even blood, made probably from cherry juice. Stay away from there kids and don't even think about treat or trick. Typical Halloween decoration if you live in Canada ;) Seriously - where else there is snow on Halloween? ;) But hey - Canada is cool - Scott Pilgrim comes form there.

Anyway - happy Halloween - have fun on great Halloween dress up parties - may your Halloween costumes impress the public.



Demotivator related joke:


Q: Why do ghosts have so much trouble dating?
A: Women can see right through them.

That's why ghosts should try IMVU


Thursday, October 28, 2010

Halloween Demotivator

Halloween Demotivator

halloween demotivational poster

Better than Christmas

Demotivational poster / demotivator description: Halloween party with sexy girls ina hot Halloween outfitsof course. What else did you expected? It's Halloween time after all and as we knows sex sells - ask IMVU staff ;)



Demotivator related joke:


Q. What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
A: Dead ends...

Q: What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
A: Fasten your sheet belts...

Q: What do ghouls eat for breakfast?
A: Ghost toasties with evaporated milk.

Did you laugh? We didn't.


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Halloween Demotivational Poster 5

Halloween Demotivational Poster

halloween demotivational poster

Slutty sailor, slutty cop and slutty nurse. Theme win!

Demotivational poster / demotivator description: Another sexy Halloween party. This time we have three girls in the photo. One is dressed up for a sailor, one for a cop, and one for a nurse. Of course their costumes are hot - this is Halloween after all. If you ask me I would say that only the one dressed like a nurse is sexy enough for a proper Halloween party. We've got already one Halloween nurse so she will fit in ;) I wonder if IMVU does allow Halloween costumes. It has a Twilight theme so maybe yes.



Demotivator related joke:


Q. Why was the girl afraid of the vampire?
A. He was all bite and no bark.

Q. Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
A. He didn't have a haunting license.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?
A. He had no body to dance with.

Well... I wonder who produce those crappy jokes.


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Pumpkins Demotivational Poster

Demotivational poster / demotivator description: hardcore pumpkin party. Yep, that's right - the jack-o-lanterns went bad at Halloween and overdo it with alcohol. There is even an vomiting Halloween pumpkin - the vomit is made form pumpkin fragments. Kids remember - have fun at Halloween parties but don't get it too rough ;)



Demotivator related joke:


One Halloween a trick-or-treater came to my door dressed as "Rocky", in boxing gloves and satin shorts. Soon after I gave him some goodies, he returned for more.

"Aren't you the same 'Rocky' who left my doorstep several minutes ago?" I asked. "Yes" he replied, "but now I'm the sequel. I'll be back three more times tonight, too."

Only three times? This Halloween joke is old ;)


Monday, October 25, 2010

Halloween Costumes Demotivational Poster

Halloween Costumes Demotivational Poster

halloween demotivational poster

some costumes are memorable

Demotivational poster / demotivator description: Another sexy chick in a sexy Halloween costume. It actually becomes boring to see another Halloween demotivational poster with hot girl on it. But this is what market demands - another girl in sexy Halloween outfit. What can we do? We can only deliver another Halloween demotivational poster. If you want to see different Halloween demotivator you can always see Halloween child demotivator.



Demotivator related joke:


Q: Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
A: To improve his bite.

Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
A: Frostbite.

Q: Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
A: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.

Your daily portion of Halloween unfunny one liners has ben delivered.


Friday, October 22, 2010

Hey Look Demotivational Poster

Demotivational poster / demotivator description: Delicious cake... I mean delicious sushi. Sushi is made from the fish Nemo. Nemo is main character from "Finding Nemo" movie and you should have been aware of that Nemo was a bad fish. That's why he deserved ending as a sushi :P Bon apetit - omnonom. Btw - I'm sure that in Japan this sushi would be extremely popular ;)



Demotivator related joke:


Q: Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers?
A: It's called, Sosumi.

I hope that Disney won't sue us for using it's brand - we can't afford lawyers :P


Thursday, October 21, 2010

Dungeons And Dragons Demotivational Poster

Demotivational poster / demotivator description: Ladies and gentlemen, hereby I present you... a badger! This one doesn't have any particular features - it's just normal badger. Not a seal, not a bear, nor lion - just badger. And why this badger is so funny? Because in D&D RPG you can choose reincarnation when your character dies. And the funny thing is that when you choose to reincarnate in Dungeons and Dragons you can be reborn as a badger if you have a bad dice roll. That's why you should always have some money for resurrection :P Or just stop playing D'n'D and choose another virtual world, for example IMVU



Demotivator related joke:


A badger goes skydiving, but his parachute doesn't open. Plunging towards the earth, he sees another badger rising through the air towards him. "Hey, mate!" he shouts. "Know anything about parachutes?". "No!" shouts back the other: "- do you know anything about gas cookers?"

You can find everything on the Internet - even badger jokes.


Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Halloween Math Demotivational Poster

Halloween Math Demotivational Poster

halloween math demotivational posters

hot chicks - clothes + body paint = win!

Demotivational poster / demotivator description: Let's check the Halloween math equation. Five hot chick (five beautiful girls - check) - clothes (they are naked - check) + body paint (they have painted costumes - check). Sound like this Halloween equation is correct according to this photo :) Well, this girls probably aren't going to any Halloween party, but who cares? Just for the record - two of them looks like they were from the navy, once reminds me Miss Spring, one is "dressed" (or rather body painted) like just sexy lady and one has painted some kind of sport suit (probably volleyball or something like that). Definitely I wouldn't threw them out from my Halloween party ;) Btw I wonder if IMVU will organize Halloween event at their virtual world?



Demotivator related joke:


Q. Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?
A. At the casketeria.

Q. What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
A. He is mist.

Q. Where did the goblin throw the football?
A. Over the ghoul line.

Q. Why doesn't Dracula mind the doctor looking at his throat.
A. Because of the coffin.

Tabadum! Another Halloween one liners - no one told they will be funny :P


Tuesday, October 19, 2010

IMVU Ads Demotivational Poster

IMVU Ads Demotivational Poster

imvu ads demotivational posters

weirder than anything else

Demotivational poster / demotivator description: Screenshot of an IMVU ad. Falling in love in an virtual avatar isn't healthy for sure. You don't know what is IMVU? IMVU is an virtual world (some called it just a 3D instant messaging client however I think that it does not reflect the truth) similar to Second Life in which you can make your own avatar. It seems that IMVU is more flirting and dating related than Second Life as main purpose of IMVU virtual avatars is to chat and flirt. The main competitors of IMVU are, according to Wikipedia (so it's probably totally imaginary data), Smallworlds, Entropia Universe, Active Worlds, Kaneva, Zwinky and mentioned before Second Life. If you really want to enter virtual worlds maybe it's just better to play WoW instead of chatting on IMVU? ;) But it definitely won't improve your dating score as World of Warcraft is an ideal abstinence program ;)



Demotivator related joke:


It was their first date, and she'd shown the patience of a saint as he babbled on and on about his hobbies, his pet peeves, his driving techniques, and even the standards he used to choose his barber.
Finally, he came up for air and said, "But enough about me. Let's talk about you."

She breathed a sigh of relief.

He went on, "What do you think about me?"


Monday, October 18, 2010

Productivity Demotivational Poster

Productivity Demotivational Poster

productivity demotivational posters

your break was over fifteen minutes ago

Demotivational poster / demotivator description: Big black guy in American football suit chasing white guy with glasses, dressed like typical big corporation worker. The whole scene takes place in an office. The corporation employee was hanging around while he should have been working hard to get his money. Now get back to work - stop browsing demotivational posters or your boss will lower your salary :P



Demotivator related joke:


Dilbert's "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people."

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:

As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time

Since:

Knowledge = Power
Time = Money
Knowledge = Work/Money.

Solving for Money, we get:

Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion:

The less you know, the more money you make.

So why study, when you can be rich? ;)


Friday, October 15, 2010

Halloween Demotivational Posters

Halloween Demotivational Posters

halloween demotivational posters

heaps better than Christmas

Demotivational poster / demotivator description: Beautiful blond girl in red sexy Halloween outfit. She even has horns. Well, that's true - Halloween better than Christmas. Because it's October you should expect more Halloween demotivational posters. I can't wait till Halloween - can you?



Demotivator related joke:


Q: What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A: fur coat that fangs around your neck...

Q: Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
A: No, they eat the fingers separately...

Q: Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
A: Because they don't have any body to go out with...

Q: What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
A: Booberries...

Booberries - almost like boobs :P


Thursday, October 14, 2010

Tacos Demotivational Poster

Tacos Demotivational Poster

tacos demotivational poster

say yes to them

Demotivational poster / demotivator description: Modified STOP road sign. On the sign there is caption say no to drugs say yes to tacos. Would you say yes to tacos after seeing such an advertisement? Or maybe you prefer burritos?



Demotivator related joke:


There were three guys, a Mexican, a black guy, and a white guy. They all worked on a sky scrapers and they ate their lunch on a beam high above. well one day they all sat down to eat their lunch and the white guy got to thinking and he said "you know, I'm getting sick of bologna and cheese sandwiches. if I open this lunch box and get a bologna and cheese sandwich again I'm going to jump of here." sure enough he opens it and there is a bologna and cheese sandwich, so he jumps off and dies. Then the black guy got to thinking and he said: "you know that white boy is right! I'm getting sick of fried chitlens, if i open this lunch pail and i get friend chitlens I'm jumping of this building." sure enough it was fried chitlens so he jumps of and dies! Then the Mexican says: "you know those guys are right. I'm sick of Tacos and refried beans, if I get tacos and refried beans again I'm jumping off this building." sure enough it was tacos and refried beans so he jumps off and dies!
A couple days later all the three widows are at the three mens funerals. Kelly, the white mans wife says: "I don't know what Jeff's problem was I've always made him bologna and cheese sandwiches and he loves them he never complained!" then Shanequa, the black mans wife says: "I don't know what Bubbas problem was he loved fried chitlens and I've always made them for him and he never complained" then Juanita, the Mexicans wife, says "yeah I don't know what Juans problem was he makes his own lunch!"


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Apple Customers Demotivational Poster

Apple Customers Demotivational Posters

apple customers demotivational poster

are not stupid... just special. very special.

Demotivational poster / demotivator description: Excerpt from iPod shuffle manual - the Apple company. Highlighted fragment says: Do not eat iPod shuffle. Well if they need THAT kind of manuals it's no wonder that Steve Jobs (Apple co-founder) can sell crappy Apple products like iMac, iPod, iPhone, iPad, iWhatever for such ridiculous amount of money :D




Demotivator related joke:


Q: Why is the Apple still reporting record profits?
A: Because iPod users are just as oblivious to the looming recession as they are to the people around them!

Q: According to Apple what is the leading cause of Ipod touch's overheating?
A: Downloading images of Megan Fox!

Q: How many Apple Ipod touch early adopters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!

Q: What's the name of the new Apple Ipod, specifically made for bathroom use?
A: Ipotty!


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

General Ackbar Demotivational Poster

Demotivational poster / demotivator description: Scene from Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi when admiral Ackbar (not general Akbar - it sounds like "Allah akbar! *KABOOM!* " FFS...) tells "It's a trap!" about actual trap set by Galactic Empire. At the end of the movie the Death Star II is destroyed however and Galactic Empire came to an end.



Demotivator related joke:


A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to." The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said,"That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Poor guy...


Friday, October 8, 2010

The Economy Demotivational Poster 2

Demotivational poster / demotivator description: The ATM (called also cash machine) inside an portable toilet. At least it looks like the portable toilet. These are all the signs of financial crisis and bad economy. However remember - petunia non olet ;) Your cash doesn't smell - at lest you should hope so. So come and claim your money.



Demotivator related joke:


A man and his wife are in the shower together when the doorbell rings. The wife puts on a robe and goes down to answer the door.

In walks her husband’s friend Ben. The woman tells him her husband’s in the shower and asks if he can come back later. Instead, Ben steps in and quietly says, "I have $400 in my pocket. I’ll give it to you if you’ll open your bathrobe for me." She’s offended, but really needs the money so she agrees, opens her robe, and lets Ben have a quick peek before doing it up again. Ben gives her the $400, and she opens the door for him to leave, but he says, "I have another $400 in my other pocket. I’ll give it to you if you let me touch your breasts." Now she’s really mortified, but again, she needs the money, so she undoes her robe and lets him have a quick feel. Taking the other $400 from him, she lets him out the door.

Going back upstairs, she gets back in the shower with her husband, feeling a little bit guilty.

"Who was that?" the husband asks.

"Oh, that was just Ben," the wife answers.

"Ben?" the husband says. "That son of a bitch owes me 800 bucks!"

Now that's what we call debt management ;)


Thursday, October 7, 2010

True Hunters Demotivational Poster

True Hunters Demotivational Poster

true hunters demotivational poster

because you all suck

Demotivational poster / demotivator description: Red fox hunting with a hunting rifle. There is a few dead rabbits laying nearby. Don't bother looking for eggs on easter For sure this fox is a true hunter. Not like these hunters hunting for seals ;)



Demotivator related joke:


A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t appear to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other hunter whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

He screeches to the operator, “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm, soothing voice says, “Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence, followed by a deafening gunshot blast.

“Ok,” the hunter says. “Now what?”

You may not be aware of that this joke is the best joke in the world - at least it says so on the Internet.


Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Yes Yes Demotivational Poster

Yes Yes Demotivational Poster

yes yes demotivational poster

I'm sorry. I'm sorry

Demotivational poster / demotivator description: Photography of a young panda. It looks a little terrified and holds its front paws in defense pose (or even submissive pose) - this panda just looks like it would like to avoid an fight. Probably a fight over a bamboo laying near it - delicious dainty for a panda. Every panda would surely drool at the thought of bamboo but not this one. That's why panda bears are about to extinct. Eat this bamboo, you little, ungrateful creep! You and your species are going to vanish if you won't eat this delicious bamboo. Or maybe you need a hug? Well, definitely this panda looks sad, so it needs some love.



Demotivator related joke:


A panda walks into a bar, interrupting a heated argument between two customers. The bartender turns to the panda and says, "Hey, just the guy we needed! Tell Ollie and Neville here... are you a bear or some kind of raccoon?" The panda ponders this for a moment and replies, "Hmmn. You know, not everything is black and white like that."

There was a funny joke (looking like written by the guys from Wulffmorgenthalter) but uncle Google didn't like it. :P


Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Remember Demotivational Poster

Demotivational poster / demotivator description: Two black guys on a motorbike (or maybe it's just a bike - who knows) somewhere in the Africa (or maybe Caribbean). One of them has safety helmet and another has a bucket on his head. Probably the motorcycle helmets, motorbike helmets (or even bicycle helmets) are rare goods in their country.



Demotivator related joke:


There's the sad story of the poor guy who was in a terrible motorcycle accident. When he came out from under the anaesthetic, the doctor was leaning over him anxiously.
"Son," he said, "I've got some good news and some bad news.
"The bad news is that your were in a very serious accident, and I'm afraid we had to amputate both your feet just above the ankle."
"Jesus," gasped the patient.
"What's the good news?"
"The fellow in the next bed over will give you a good price for your boots."


Monday, October 4, 2010

Victory Demotivational Poster

Victory Demotivational Poster

victory demotivational poster

let the world know

Demotivational poster / demotivator description: Photo of the tiger. This tiger is actually making an fierce roar - an roar of victory. So we do today because we are victorious today. We have made it to the TOP 10 of Google SERP on "demotivational posters". Our SEO is our kung-fu ;) Well, probably we won't be on the first page for long - but it's always nice to be so close of the top for a while. Now we are going to celebrate our victory.



Demotivator related joke:


There was this tiger who woke up one morning and just felt great. He just felt so good, he went out and cornered a small monkey and roared at him: "WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?"

This poor quaking little monkey replied: "You are of course, no one is mightier than you."

A little while later this tiger confronts a deer, and just bellows out: "WHO IS THE GREATEST AND STRONGEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?"

The deer is shaking so hard it can barely speak, but manages to stammer: "Oh great tiger, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle."

The tiger, being on a roll, swaggered, up to an elephant that was quietly munching on some weeds, and roared at the top of his voice: "WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE ANIMALS IN THE JUNGLE?"

Well, this elephant grabs the tiger with his trunk, picks him up, slams him down; picks him up again, and shakes him until the tiger is just a blur of orange and black, and finally throws him violently into a nearby tree.

The tiger staggers to his feet and looks at the elephant and says: "Man, just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so mad."

I hope we won't be like that tiger and we will remain on the first page of Google for a little while :P


Friday, October 1, 2010

The Economy Demotivational Poster

Demotivational poster / demotivator description: Final Fantasy IV console game online sell offer. The funny thing is that the new one costs $19.99 and the used one price is $27,99. Now that's a financial crisis and bad economy. Although with the used one you buy emotions of the previous player embedded into the very game CD ;) So you have to decide on which Final Fantasy 4 you will spend your cash - new but soulless or used but with an emotional charge. Choose wisely how to spend your hard earned money.



Demotivator related joke:


When Albert Einstein died, he met three New Zealanders in the queue outside the Pearly Gates. To pass the time, he asked what were their IQs. The first replied 190. "Wonderful," exclaimed Einstein. "We can discuss the contribution made by Ernest Rutherford to atomic physics and my theory of general relativity". The second answered 150. "Good," said Einstein. "I look forward to discussing the role of New Zealand's nuclear-free legislation in the quest for world peace". The third New Zealander mumbled 50. Einstein paused, and then asked, "So what is your forecast for the budget deficit next year?" (Adapted from Economist June 13th 1992, p. 71).

Well that would explain worldwide financial crisis, wouldn't it?